I feel stupid, guilty, angry with myself. But mostly so very tired.

I miss sqdmates, I miss SN. Msging Po made me sad, meeting Yips at J8& talking made it much worse. Two minutes into our conv, & the tears were shining in our eyes. So many problems, so much need for a little simple comfort. We need to have a good long talk, a good long cry, many many hugs. Like the good old days, when a few buckets of tears&a hundred bear hugs would make everything alright again. Maybe it won't solve everything or anything this time, but at least we can always be sure that sqdmates are still our oasis. & always will be.

Po. You're on your own here. You know my opinion already, the decision is yours. I'm sorry this had to happen, I love you so much, please don't hurt yourself. But why do I have this feeling you will. This is only supposed to happen in novels&movies dammit.

Sorry, I really have to go back to SN on Fri, even if it means missing exco speeches& voting. Or else I think something inside of me will die, permanently.

Sheesh I'm supposed to sleep before 10. Good luck for the tournament tmr bridgers, especially A, A, E & F. More importantly, have fun! (although I'm still super annoyed about having to get up even earlier on a public hol than on norm school days) & Chuns, I trust you with all my heart. No matter what the outcome is, you're still the best partner I can ever hope to have. Thank you.

I can cry all night.